Creatures with power greater than the number of cards in your hand can't attack.

: This artifact becomes a 1/5 Spirit artifact creature with flying until end of turn. (Equipment that's a creature can't equip a creature.)
Equipped creature gets +1/+5.
Equip

, : Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature with power X. Activate only as a sorcery.

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only any opponent may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

You may choose not to untap this artifact during your untap step.
, : Tap target creature with power X or less. It doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as this artifact remains tapped.

Search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. You gain 2 life.

Players skip their upkeep steps.

: Put target card from your graveyard on the bottom of your library.

This creature enters with three +1/+1 counters on it if you didn't cast it from your hand.
When this creature dies, exile it with three time counters on it and it gains suspend. (At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, cast this card without paying its mana cost. It has haste.)

Use Equipment to lead Cap and company to victory.

When Eriette's Tempting Apple enters, gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.
, , Sacrifice Eriette's Tempting Apple: You gain 3 life.
, , Sacrifice Eriette's Tempting Apple: Target opponent loses 3 life.

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, it deals 1 damage to target opponent.
: Add or .

, : Return target creature to its owner's hand unless its controller pays .

: Target spell becomes colorless.
: Target permanent becomes colorless until end of turn.

Creatures you control have hexproof.

Starting & Max Hand Size: -1
Starting Life: +4

Whenever this creature attacks, it deals 2 damage to any target.

, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
, Sacrifice this land: Target creature with power 2 or less can't be blocked this turn.